adik the quiet one

Hmm... quite difficult to explain about adik. she is the quiet girl, the one who keeps her thoughts to herself. maybe she is like caught in the middle of a few other siblings. she is alone, does not really belong to the big brothers and sisters and not really fit in with alin and ayish.

Adik was left alone when she was in primary school, always managed herself when she came back from school, had lunch alone, studied alone and waited until evening before we came home. thus, we did not focus much on her, unable to do that because of our limited time. When she did not do well in her UPSR, both of us felt so guilty, realizing that she did not get the attention she really deserved. we hope now she is in secondary school, her interest in her studies improves.

She is now in an evening session so again we rarely have time for her. when she arrives in the evening, it is already nite. umi is busy getting ready to go to tok's house. in the morning umi returns, she is still asleep. umi and abah leave for work. she goes to school by bus.at nite, sometimes, abah gets the chance to check on her homework but it is really, really rare.

Adik's contribution to the family for now is only putting all the folded clothes ( done by akak) inside our closet, being paid rm20 per month. haha cheap but that is for a start. later when the sisters leave the house, she will be incharge of everything so the pay will be increased.....

Adik but not really The Youngest

Eman turned 1 plus and i accidently found out i was going to be blessed with another bundle of joy. At that time i was so frustrated because my application for a transfer to a school in Kubang Pasu was repeatedly denied, always without convincing reasons. so my friends used to tease me: Hmm hang yan kalau tak leh tukar sekolah, beranak aje.... i really could not comprehend the connection but the obvious effect was obviously known among friends.

However, the transfer was finally granted, about 5 months after i delivered Adik. but what i want to highlight here was the moments of Adik's appearance to this wonderful family world. i can still remember the day before 27th March 1998, i had a crave of lai chi kang, served in a beautiful crystal bowl. Upon my request, abah went to pasar malam and bought a plastic of the syrup and poured it into a mug.....hahhhhhhh... i did not want, i wanted the one filled the cystal bowl....abah just shaked his head...mana nak cari mangkuk cantik tu yan oi.  Grumbling yet i managed to finish off the whole mug.

Early morning, after subuh, i started feeling the very mild uneasiness , so i lied on bed waiting for the more painful cramps and contractions...well by then i was already very experienced in differentiating the false alarm and the real pain.  It was until maghrib and that time i was already in Jitra. the visit to the loo was more frequent, the back pain dominated the whole body so abah took me to Jitra Hospital.

Labour did not take that long. after the water bag was broken by the doctor, i was placed in a quiet corner of the room. i was totally left alone so my prayers were done with the baby. the pain...jgn cakap le...imagine sweating in an air-cond room. The doctor came again and checked .He...adui this time an Indian man doctor. what to do...he said still early but the moment he left, i called out loud, informing him about the condition. luckily, this time the midwife came and helped me go through the process. syukur......

Taking care was very easy...the easiest in fact. i always called her Pak Mulan, as that time Mulan( the animated series of a chinese lady warrior) was very popular. Adik was so fair that we could see the clear red vein on her face. 

I still remember one time during confinement, i ate a currypuff, a filling of a sweet potato which was quite bitter and by asar, adik started crying non stop until isya'. we bundled her up and took her to kampung padang. tok asked tok wan to find a few betel leaves which they placed by the fire ( pelita ) and pressed gently on Adik's stomach..after a few trials, adik cooed and fell asleep. adui. then we also collapsed.

the next morning we went to a clinic coz abah had to take a MC... dah kena berleter dgn doctor who said amboi anak ramai pun tak reti jaga lagi..ish bisanya....i hope now that doctor has a child on her own and she learns that every child is different. so no matter how experience you are, you can never guess how your child would be.

Pity Eman

Well, come to think of all my children, Eman is the quietest one. we somehow terforgot he is around..because most of the time, he minds his own business. Dangerous ni. one time, which i cannot remember the year, abah, along, bob and eman played badminton. abah was fasting so i advised him not to play in the sun..however,maybe he felt he was strong so they played. suddenly eman did something that irritated abah so much that he started beating eman....with a hanger....berbelat-belat ....Ya Allah i was so angry to abah and pity eman. i cried too looking at the reddish scar on his back. 

When eman was sleeping, i saw abah quietly and slowly applied gamat ointment to his back. i understood that he felt the quilt, the never-think attitude that he showed to the children.  I did not know whether eman still remembers this or not, but the incident was really unexpected.

When he was in primary school, he really dotted on adik, played with her and teased her alot. somehow, suddenly, he started neglecting her for about 3 years. nothing we did make him change but lately he has mellowed down a bit and does talk to adik. i pray that their bond will last forever.

Eman My Dear

Atih turned 1 plus and i was dizzy again...hah? again...so what to do? what else to do? that time my hubby and i were at SMK dato' Syed Ahmad....the 9 month-stint was very smooth even though we were not that contented with the place (Taman Bersatu, Kuala Nerang).Every weekend, we would rush back either to Jitra or Sg. Yan. 

 One nite at Kampung Padang, Jitra. i had sambal udang for dinner. At about 11pm, we were still watching TV and there was this advertisement of Rootbeer, uish...it looked so yummy and my crave for that softdrink was very tempting...yet where to find at that hour..and what more there was no Rootbeer outlet in Jitra, not even one in Alor Star.  i was so down but what to do. in despair, i went to bed.

9th December 1993, at 3 am, i woke up, had a stomachache but this time it was different..it did not stop. Obviously, the time to deliver had come..so i packed up, accompanied by abah, tok and mak lang. before subuh i was already at Jitra Hospital. waited in the LR and after subuh, eman was delivered, 3.5km.hmm selambak. i still remember that time the was this SEA Games in Chiang Mai....

Eman had Tok Jat as the babysitter who came to my house.That time, we already moved to our own house at Taman siswa 2. Syukur.He was quite a bundle..chubby and the hair is styled ala Abu bakar Elah...i practiced my snipping style on him and the result was not that good.....sorry eh Eman.Another sorry...i do not have that many photos of him as at that time the  camera was lost ...so more of present photos compared to the old ones.

Middle Child Syndrome?

What to say! Atih's growing up moments were very dramatic. from the days she was a toddler, the crying that she perfected so well, the kicking bouts that she practised on us, the tantrums that she displayed in many difficult mornings before going to school: all turned her into a handful charge for us.

Her nagging for attention made us spent the nights massaging her legs( she complained very often)  but she looked ok during the day...the doctor said maybe she was asking for attention...understood as she is the middle child, sardined between 3 elder siblings and 4 younger ones

The troubled challenging time was quite obvious so much so that i decided to continue my studies (masters) just to focus on Middle Child Syndrome ( Birth Order) hoping to grab a clearer picture of what was bothering her so much that made her like that.

Day by day, somehow, she started to change when she turned 16, quite late but still a welcome one.  She became more responsible, reliable and understanding. was it because she knew i was studying her behaviour, or she just grew up and out of her rebellious years.  Haha, then i stopped studying coz she was not a suitable subject anymore...her change of attitude just did not help me in my observation. 

Looking at her now makes me smile and shake my head as the trials of bringing her up is really a good lesson for us. She makes our life livelier, more colourful and different.

Atih and Highland Towers

20th Dec 1993, 22 days after the Highland Towers collapsed, i gave birth to atih, through forced delivery..the most painful of all. Imagine she was 12 days overdue and i did not show any signs of delivering. the Pengkalan Chepa Clinic doctor referred me to Kota Bharu Hospital.

The night of the set date, i could not sleep...tried to imagine what would happened the next day. suddenly the nurse asked me to enter labour room at 3am....biar betui...so i went and waited and waited...nothing done...finally the doctor said...never mind, we do it tomorrow....amboi senang hati depa buat camtu.

At 9 in the morning, the doctor induced me ( no drip but pills) and after one hour, the pain started and persisted until 4 pm. i was all alone and God knows how i suffered ...this kind of pain was very different, the interval was very short..but the nurse said still ok....hang bukan rasa misi oi....

Finally, at about 4, one nurse came and checked and was so surprised to see that the dilation was about 8cm....she rushed me into the LR and finally at 4.45pm, atih made her appearance....this was the most challenging.luckilly the nurse on duty was very kind. young but skillful. she offered me milo immediately after that, knowing well that i was very thirsty....at the same time, i heard the doctors and nurses talking about makan bubur kacang and whatnot....for them delivering is just a business..very relaxed and selamber aje.

That nite, tok accompanied me as i was in Ward 1...the next morning discharged, only one day before the hospital was flooded....mujur i dan balik.....tu la kisah atih.....

Bob Bosnia

I forgot to mention that when Bob was born, at that year, Bosnian War was the talk of the world. So happened he was so fair that the neighbours ( Linda Restaurant) the whole family in fact dotted on him and called him Bob. every time i wanted to go shopping, i would leave Bob with them ( mama, baba, cik ngah, linda, aisyah, lini, man, syam) and they would put him on the table and entertained him with lots and lots of sweet. he was the centre of attention.

Aruah tok wan was actually the first to call him Borhan and the shortened version of Bob later took effect. every time Bob had a fever, we were so worried as his chest would move up and down, as if he was having an asthma. sometimes, i rushed him to clinic at nite and taking care of him was very difficult.

When Atih was born and i was in confinement, Along, Akak and Bob were down with chicken pox ( measles). the other two were ok but Bob had a slight problem. he just could not stand and we found it strange considering along and akak were ok. it seemed that the effect of chicken pox was very serious; it affected the knee. syukur mama took bob back to pasir mas and gave him a traditional treatment.

Tending to Bob made me forget about myself and suddenly.. i was pregnant again....again....i was down but the moment UPT came out positive, i was very positive and was ready to accept another gift from God. What happened during Atih's delivery?....so tragic...wait eh.

Welcome Bob

Well.now i continue the story. I was admitted even though the pain was ver mild.adui awat bob ni slow to appear.in labour from noon until maghrib. I was the bahan uji for the trainee.all kind ofadvice given by nurses yet the contraction was very very very mild.tired of waiting n no food allowed so i was weak.ecg done yet the opening was at a snail pace.finally about 9pm i delivered bob.
Funny the nurse still recognized me n ask whether i delivered a baby there the year before.of course la kak oi. Bumi kelantan ni subur i said.ha salahkan kelantan pulak she said.i had to wait in ward3 for a long time before abah could enter n azankan Bob.the nite spent there was really a tiring one coz i could not get enough sleep.the orchestrated sound of crying babies made sleeping impossible. Yet i was very thankful for the smooth delivery.

After a few week.i returned to spend confinement at toks but again it was x a peaceful one coz at the same time mak lang suffered from unknown illness.she was in hospital so tok had to look after us both.pity tok n wan.mak lang suffered for about 15 years that took her spirit and mental ability.

Nevertheless.Bob grows up well even though he had a few bouts of sickness when he was a toddler.what happened to him?wait till i post the next entry k.