Akak and Uting

Akak showed her trait of being independent and she took her first small steps when she was 9 months..the fastest of all. She had a series of scabies for about 3 months which was also suffered by the whole family. so  many types of medication tried and taken but to no avail. pity her...the whole body and head were scattered with the itchiness of the skin disease.

Akak relied mostly on her pacifier when she needed attention coz when she turned 3 months...aduhai i started to get pregnant again. did not know how, did not realize when.....suddenly it was time again.  not realizing that i was carrying, i went to see the doctor and she gave me a shot to cure scabies. if i knew, i would not take that. i guess it was one of the reasons why Bob has a very sensitive skin ( and sensitive feeling too)

Imagine carrying the 3rd child and at the same time searching for the cure of this irritating scabies. somehow, after numerous trials, the disease just disappeared but not before leaving ugly scars to us. it was really a bad experience. 

Akak still hang on to her pacifier every time she cried, she would search high and low for her safety security of pacifier until one day, abah could not take it any longer coz she just put it into her mouth  even though it was found on the floor. so to solve that problem, abah acted quite cruel by cutting the pac into two, right in front of her...she must be so scared that from that day onward, she never mentioned the pac anymore....if only she could think that we could always get her a new one.......akak...akak....

Along and akak were inseparable and the mischievous two sometimes ended up  in the toilet for being so naughty....funny though, they would be very quiet when left in the toilet and once released, the chaos continued.....abah and umi had a challenging time looking after the two but at least along had someone he could bully, even though akak was never an easy victim.

the day akak turned one, on 24th feb 1992, umi threw a small party for her and the guests were mostly neighbours' children. that day i felt quite restless already, thinking that i would deliver anytime. true enough, the next morning, at about 10am, the feeling was assured when i saw some signs of delivery...ayooo...abah rushed me to Kota bharu Hospital, aruah tok besah and mak ngah tagging along. By 2pm i was admitted to the ward......what happened there?  Till then.....ta ta..... 

I am ready

Now i want to share the story about my second baby, Nor Fadhilah a.k.a Akak... When Along was 11 months old, i silently admitted that i was ready for another baby..coz i could see that along was lonely..no friends to play with...God is Great...that month i conceived again.

This time, i had a fluctuating mixed of emotion...one day ok , another day ko.  Abah was somehow quite  different. his interest in sports ( watching TV only) made him unaware of my crave for attention mood.  I had bouts of headache very often, leading me to feel so uncomfortable. only those who are pregnant will understand this. this is not main main...along was getting very active and my free time was very limited.

Unable to make abah understand, i resorted to writing letters..many pages of papers used and to add the special effect, more dried tears dotted the paper.....abah was so scared every time he got the letter coz i really poured out my feeling...i dont care......well after that abah was ok, helpful and more attentive.


One day, SM Kota Bharu had a cross country day. One student went berserk, running here and there hysterically and suddenly she entered the staffroom, the place where i was relaxing. I was so scared looking at her.  In tears, i was sent home by Mdm Ruhana ( where are you now?). if i am not mistaken, it was Thursday. 2 days after that, akak was delivered at Kota Bharu Hospital.

Tok was there to help..she was so surprised to see akak .....hmmmm....akak was a bit ....you know...not that fair compared to along....depa tukar anak hang kot......ish mak ni.....even mak jah the babysitter was also confused.....hey...hello....this is my daughter...whatever the skin colour is, she came from my womb......

This continued over and over. when we went home during school holidays, people kept asking why she was ...different....i dont understand why some people can be so blunt, so heartless....they always see the appearance....this was really haunting akak until one day she said to her younger siblings......dont take too much kicap( soya sauce) nanti gelap macam akak.......................i was really upset with this coz to me and abah...she is ours regardless the skin, regardless the appearance.....

Wait till you see her now......ha bergaya sakan.  ok to be continued. see..not much of a different right?

Panicked, Frightening and Rewarding Experience

10th Ramadhan 1410 ( 1989), early Tuesday morning, i had a very painful tummy cramps, irregular yet persistent that left me sweating.  wee hour in the morning, tok wan went to invite the midwife( aruah lang Mai) a very nice, gentle yet experience old lady to come and checked my condition.  Patiently we waited for me, she even slept at  my house. Morning came but i was getting nowhere. the excruciating pain was unbearable so the clinic nurse ( SN Tijah) ayooyoo she was very sharp, i mean her voice.......her words...
She kept on advising ( insisting to be  more precise) that i went to AS Hospital. I had no choice. Packed my bag  and got into the waiting ambulance. first time weh......

Checking time again, the dilation was only 2 cm...the pain.....just indescribable. I was admitted and joined all the expecting moms in ward 2.....the experience was very daunting. the moaning, the grumbling, the march passing.... i was on bed, crying alone, praying the pain would be over but alas........Wednesday morning, the doctor, in his round, asked me whether i could go home as my due date was in 2 weeks time....i was taken by surprise.: impossible as i was in pain. then i understood that i had to leave coz the ward was full..some even had to sleep on the made shift bed( ala askar gitu).

Tok wan took us home in a taxi. upon reaching the house, i had another shocking moment....the waterbag broke......i was taken upstairs and again Tijah was called. From that moment, i was not myself anymore...imagine from 2pm to 6.45 i was tossing and turning, drinking whatever tok gave( which was actually not good as it was not advisable)....they gave me watermellon, coconut oil, the minyak selusuh...all taken without feeling. Tijah, again forced me to go to Hospital, but i refused...i could not move anymore.

Alhamdulillah, a few minutes before Maghrib, Along made his appearance to this world.....he was so cute, weighed 3.12 kg, he was welcomed by tok wan, tok and (aruah) tok ( abah's mom), mak lang.....Everyone was relieved and had a good laugh when i blurted :  kalau camni, 5 lagi pun takpa)....WHAT? after a long painful tormenting experience, i still wanted many children. Well....love at the first sight....the innocent looking boy triggered that idea, i guess.( at the same time, abah called from Kelantan, saying that he had a dream...wah senang banyak...kita dok sakit, dia cuma mimpi).....the next day abah returned to meet his first brood.....syukur alhamdulillah.

Expecting Along

Haha  i could take days telling a story about how we spent heartbreaking  years (4 years to be exact) planning to get one baby. we just could not take any cynical comments anymore and to a certain extend we never watched any drama that have stories about childless couple. what more with perli perli words from the villagers, we were so frustrated.
In 1988, my mom and dad went to Mekah and they prayed for our success and through enough ( subhanallah) the month they came back, i started having  morning sickness. hehe i wanna laugh thinking how weak i was; i felt like sleeping all the time. almost 2 months pregnant yet i did not know. well i never had the experience so finally we went to Soma Clinic in Jitra and the test (EPT)was positive. we smiled all the way home.....imagine we rode a bicycle to town.....and came back smiling from ear to ear....the next day we went back to Yan  and broke the good so much waited news to Tok Besah ( aruah)..she was elated.

The good news was shared by friends at SMK Tok Jalai.....Mr Zulkifli ( TQVM) knowing that abah was in Kelantan, took the trouble to find one kelapa gading ( yellow one) because i had a crave on that nut. He brought it to school and the ever  kind ERT teacher, Kak Habsah helped to crack open the coconut and made a special cooling juice for me. I was in cloud nine....even the jambu air nearby the school canteen was picked especially for me.

being far from abah was quite a sad experience coz i had to buy whatever i wanted by myself. The oranges, raisin, soya and all the good nutricious food suitable for expecting mom were my favourite. Tok and wan also gave me whatever i wanted...Finally in March 1989 i got a transfer to Kelantan, just month away from delivery. Then  about 2 weeks before giving birth i took a risky flight home coz i wanted to deliver Along in Kedah.....close to home.....however the process was not an easy one.....wait i tell you later......

25 Jan 1985

This was a very emotional yet auspicious day, the day i registered my marriage, promised to be together through thick or thin with my life partner, Mr Shamsuri, a fine young man ( now old la). Situated in a penthouse of De maisonnevue Apartment, our marriage was solemnized by an Iraqian ( or Iranian) imam, witnessed by our friends whose help and support made our arrangement and planning successful.
Our parents gave their consent ( had to) since we were far away from Malaysia so this marriage would be something that could not be postponed and we convinced them that we were doing the right thing, to avoid any sin or misdoing. As Muslims, we believe that it was better if we continued up our relationship by tying the knot, as it would make our life more peaceful and meaningful.
I never regret this even though we did not get the chance to go through elaborate wedding receptions like others in Malaysia. Our friends did prepare a small private dinner and it was very much appreciated.  I still remember how much effort taken by Zainuddin, Allahyarham Hazani, Mummy Liza, Shimah, Fazie, Siti, Aa, and sisters to ensure our wedding done successfully.
Alhamdulillah, we have been married for almost 27 years and the love and commitment still become our priority and sincerely and deeply cherished. I  pray that we will forever blessed until the end of our life.

HOW EVERYTHING HAPPENED

This blog is specially designed with one and only one intention that is to share the special moments that  i have been through from the time i tied a knot with my beloved hubby, followed by the most blessed bundle of joy of having 8 dotted children.

I believe my sincere notes of mixed emotions would reach my children in a very special way, as i realize they would never know the truth, the tested moments, the tears, the deep feeling that my hubby and i share for the last 27 years.

Revealing these would hopefully put all of us together, changing our differences into trusted understanding, leading our life into a worthwhile one, before we leave this world and meet again in the Hereafter.

New Beginning